There are good days.
When Ks is home with me and we spend the day shopping and cafe hopping with didi in tow, have homecooked dinner at the in laws with durian and bird’s nest for dessert.
There are good nights.
When the kids fall asleep by 10 and Jh doesn’t wake up for a feed until 5.40am and Jy sleeps through the night. When the last virus has taken its leave and everybody is well.
It doesn’t take a lot to make one happy.
The warmth of the family, the closeness of loved ones, a full belly..
But the pessimist in me wonders how long this will last. When will the next bout of illness arrive and everyone gets uptight and uncomfortable, when’s the next tiff with the in-laws, when’s Ks’ next long flight?
When times are good, I get a little afraid. I try to be mentally prepared for when plans will have to change, worst case scenarios, so that I won’t get taken by surprise and be affected and depressed. Is this how I am not relying on God?
Is it ok to think this way? To sort of psyche myself for terrible things?
But truly, I just want to remain thankful for good days and good nights.
Especially when the dark periods weren’t so long ago.
Jh had some sleep regression last week, waking up at 9.30pm after sleeping at 9pm. Then 11.30pm, then 1.30am, then 4.30am, then 7am. I was alone at home and it pissed the hell out of me.
The next night, it happened again!
This time, I didn’t want to go into his room. I was sure he wasn’t hungry and didn’t get up. I let him cry for about 30mins, and I was crying in my own bed. I can’t explain this reaction – it’s just extreme frustration coupled with anger and massive sorrow.
The following night, I knelt down to God for this to end and He took it away. Jh slept beautifully, with his usual once or twice waking after that.
As a second time mom, I was offering comfort to follow mothers about sleep regression and how they are just a passing phase. When it happened to me though, I still fell into the gloomy abyss.
I googled about the causes and it could be a new light in the room (probably our new humidifier), growth spurt (why didn’t it occur to me?) or discomfort (likely to be reflux cos he spits up milk often).
I felt enlightened after knowing the possible causes and could somewhat come to terms with the frequent wakings.
I’m speaking as if Jh did a terrible thing, but he’s just waking up more at night and he’s just a baby. Okay, you think differently in the day and at night.
We’ve been trying a bit of TCM on Jy. At the recommendation of her beautician, my mom bought a couple of Chinese supplements from Eu Yan Sang. One of which is the 保婴丹 or Bo Ying Compound, suitable even for newborns.
I was skeptical when we first tried it on Jing Ying; she was having quite a lot of nasal discharge and random night fevers (they get better in the morning after a dose of paracetamol).
It comes in a pack of 6 vials to be given continuously for 6 days.
While her nasal discharge appeared to have lessen, we didn’t see any obvious difference in her. We weren’t expecting anything anyway.
Until a week later, at her school’s Parent-Teacher Conference, her teachers reported her to be highly energetic and rather hyperactive during the week. It was just that week. Previously, she’d been generally manageable.
Ks and I were puzzled at her behaviour and the only thing we did different was giving her the Bo Ying Compound. We concluded it could be because her immunity and strength’s been boosted so she’s acting that way. We aren’t really complaining that she’s healthier and her teachers are actually more amused than annoyed at her burst of energy, but we sure hope that she doesn’t wear them out!
It certainly isn’t conclusive that this compound is helping Jy to become stronger, but to-date she’s not been sick from school for 1 month! That’s quite a record. It’s only ever happened once before on a February with many days of holiday.
Jy has been quite a star student at school. She’s a pet to a number of her teachers. Some calling her ‘my darling’ and others ‘my ying ying’. It’s endearing to see how the teachers have taken to her. 🙂
Jy is kinda cray cray, entertaining, adorable and completely lovable. She’s more dauntless than her peers and highly effective in communicating for her age.
At a recent Art Exhibition for charity at her school, her teachers got her to paint a nameboard which fetched the highest price in the centre. We’re so proud of her and we thank God that her teachers also try to hone her abilities, pushing her to excel.
(If it weren’t for the pictures, we won’t believe she made it herself)